The purpose of this feedback questionnaire is to gather information on your learning experience, as well as your responses to the course.
Please think of these questions as eliciting your subjective perceptions on various aspects of the course. The data you provide will be treated as confidential.
Please state your comments about the module.
In the blink of an eye, 13 weeks passed. It had always amazed me that we have learnt so many things just in one semester. However, this module is one that had taught me many different skills. We started off with writing simple blogpost before moving on to short presentations. It was then followed by peer teaching, writing of the application and cover letter, proposal writing as well as the ending the module with the grand finale; the oral presentation.
In these 13 weeks, I've tried many things that I've never done before throughout my 17 years of education. It was truly an eye opening experience for me. Granted that all of us, if not, most of us would have blogged or wrote a diary in some time of our lives ; I have never done proposal writing and presentations with SO LITTLE words on the screen before. Since I stepped into NUS, I had only done one presentation. Therefore, I thought that the peer teaching was a great warm-up for me to pick up my oral presentation skills again back from the JC days.
Coming up with a resume as well as the application letter was something new to me as well. Although the interview session was scary and stressful, it was fun as well. So far, I've never been to an interview session that asked me to talk about myself or describe one of my weaknesses. As I was one of the first few to go for the mock interview, it forced me to think on my feet when my "interviewers" asked me those questions which made the mock interview session more realistic.
Although I was quite resistant about the idea initially, it turned out to be one of my most positive experience of the module. To be grouped randomly with the rest of the class for the proposal as well as the oral presentation allowed me to interact and bond with the rest of my classmates. This helped to guide me out of my comfort zone and I believe I'll be more positive when I have to work with people I am not familiar with in future. I am sure in any job, it would be impossible for me to choose my project mates all the time.
Lastly, I truly enjoyed presentation at the end of the term. I have learnt a lot from my team mates and took away a lot of learning points from the presentation itself. I believe that the final presentation had helped me in developing my presentation skills. Now, I look at presentations in a more positive light and would be less hesistant if I need to do presentations in the future.
All in all, this module had definitely taught me a lot of essential skills that I would be useful throughout my life. Communication skills are vital in every aspect of life, active listening helps to prevent misunderstandings , good written skills and oral presentation skills are a necessity in all careers. I would definitely recommend this module to all NUS science students so that they can hone their communication skills as well.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Tips to reduce nervousness on presentation
Although oral presentation for this module had ended, we still have many opportunites to present in many different occasions, in our future careers etc. However, many of us including me mentioned in our blog enteriest that one of the factors that hinder us from effective presentation or rather presenting to the best of each of our potential would be NERVOUSNESS. Therefore, I would like to share with everyone some of the interesting tips that I found online which helped me to reduce the number of butterflies I had in my stomache just before my presentation the other day. (((:
#1: Visualize the outcome you want.
Usually, people are afraid of public speaking because they see themselves failing the presentation even before it actually happens. They would picture themselves flipping through their notes, turning red and becoming mute when they stand before audiences. It is said that psychologists described this as negative anticipation!
Whenever I find myself sinking into the trap of negative anticipation, I would walk around and talk to my group members. The encouragments that they gave helped me to calm down as well. ((:
"Begin with the end in mind" This was quoted from Steven Covey in his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. If you anticipate success, then the probability of achieving it would be higher. It was said that through visualization, you are gearing your mind and body towards the outcome that you want. Hence, I would close my eyes so as to minimise distractions and paint a positive outcome in my mind. This was pretty effective the other day when I tried it before my presentation. It really helped me to be less nervous and more confident of myself.
#2: Take deep breaths
Anxiety would cause the muscle in the chest and throat area to tighten and restrict the airwaw. Not only does it limits the amount of oxygen we obtain, it would affect our voice projection as well causing our voice to come out as a squeak.
I would usually take three deep breaths and hold mybreadth to 3/4 seconds. The deep breaths would send more oxygen to the lungs and brains helping to expand the throat and chest. This aids in relaxation. I really believe in this! ((:
Last tip: SMILE!
At least I feel that this works for me! Haha! Smiling was said to have phsiological effect on us. It should help us to calm our nerves and make us feel better. I'm sure when you smile it'll help to make you look more pleasant and comfortable to your audiences as well, no?
One of my friends actually told me that generally audiences would mirror the expression of the presenters. So, I guess by smiling to your audiences, they would be more likely to smile back as well and it'll be the presentation atmosphere less tense! (((:
That's about all from me on the tips to reduce nervousness! I hope it would be occur and be useful to you guys when you have presentations in the future! (((:
Cheers! All the best for your papers people! ><
#1: Visualize the outcome you want.
Usually, people are afraid of public speaking because they see themselves failing the presentation even before it actually happens. They would picture themselves flipping through their notes, turning red and becoming mute when they stand before audiences. It is said that psychologists described this as negative anticipation!
Whenever I find myself sinking into the trap of negative anticipation, I would walk around and talk to my group members. The encouragments that they gave helped me to calm down as well. ((:
"Begin with the end in mind" This was quoted from Steven Covey in his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. If you anticipate success, then the probability of achieving it would be higher. It was said that through visualization, you are gearing your mind and body towards the outcome that you want. Hence, I would close my eyes so as to minimise distractions and paint a positive outcome in my mind. This was pretty effective the other day when I tried it before my presentation. It really helped me to be less nervous and more confident of myself.
#2: Take deep breaths
Anxiety would cause the muscle in the chest and throat area to tighten and restrict the airwaw. Not only does it limits the amount of oxygen we obtain, it would affect our voice projection as well causing our voice to come out as a squeak.
I would usually take three deep breaths and hold mybreadth to 3/4 seconds. The deep breaths would send more oxygen to the lungs and brains helping to expand the throat and chest. This aids in relaxation. I really believe in this! ((:
Last tip: SMILE!
At least I feel that this works for me! Haha! Smiling was said to have phsiological effect on us. It should help us to calm our nerves and make us feel better. I'm sure when you smile it'll help to make you look more pleasant and comfortable to your audiences as well, no?
One of my friends actually told me that generally audiences would mirror the expression of the presenters. So, I guess by smiling to your audiences, they would be more likely to smile back as well and it'll be the presentation atmosphere less tense! (((:
That's about all from me on the tips to reduce nervousness! I hope it would be occur and be useful to you guys when you have presentations in the future! (((:
Cheers! All the best for your papers people! ><
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Reflections reflections and more reflections
Yay! It's over! The presentation is finally over! ((((:
Before I start reflecting on my presentation, I'll like to take this opportunity to thank all my group members for their efforts and the hard work they have put in for both the proposal and presentation. ((: It was a great experience to work with all of you; Deenise is the conscientious one who always searches for interesting things we can add to our project. Tiffany is the IT savvy who came up with our awesome slides and Kellyn is the brave soul who has to memorise chunks and chunks of information just for the introduction of our presentation. Thank you girls for making my project in ES2007S a superbly fun one! (:
Often we hear the words, “He/ she is a good speaker. He /she did a good job. I truly enjoyed it.” When we fill out the evaluation form, we sometimes give the top score, but how many times can we really rate the presenter as “excellent” or truly “exceeded my expectations?” How do we make a good presentation a great one?
With that, I shall share with everyone some of the points that I had done in an attempt to make our presentation a better one.
How I prepared for my presentation
Instead of writing chunks of words and tons of paragraphs for my presentation, I wrote them out in point forms. I remembered the sequence of my slides and this helped a lot during the presentation because I wasn’t regurgitating rather I was just connecting the points that I have and it was much easier. Therefore I felt that I was more comfortable with this presentation as compared to my peer teaching session. Slotting the research findings together with the recommendations also helped me to connect my ideas together and make it easier for me to put my points across.
Presentation Aspect
I read from somewhere that there are several factors that determine the effectiveness of the presentation. Therefore, I tried to incorporate some of those factors to make my presentation more effective and omit those that would hinder me from delivering a clear and concise message. I’ll share some of the factors here with everyone.
What makes presentation ineffective?
Overcrowding of audio-visual aids
Third on the list of hindering effective presentation is the poor usage of audio and visual aids. After reviewing through several websites and looking at the video clips of several successful presenters, our group decided to revamp our slides and kept the information on the slides to the minimal. Although it was very challenging for us as presenters and for our classmates as audiences, I found that there are several benefits of omitting bullet points. During the presentation, I felt that some of the information that I initially included in my speech were too long and lengthy for my audiences so I omitted them. Without listing the points on my slides allowed me to change my speech according to the non verbal feedbacks I get from my audiences. Also, it was much easier to look at the audiences when I didn’t use the speech cards. Previously during the peer teaching session, I used speech cards for as a form of security. However, with the cards around I felt that I was compelled to look at them in case I missed anything out.
No effort to relate material to audience interests, background
This was rank second in the list of making presentation ineffective. Since I was supposed to be speaking to the NUSEU as well as academic staffs from the NUS Law Faculty, I tried to connect with them by doing a background research of NUS Law School. I also tried to make them understand what they could do to help improve the current communication curriculum of the NUS Law School instead of just telling iterating our recommendations.
One thing that I should improve on would probably be to maintain more eye contact with my audiences rather. But it was really more comfortable to look at Brad when he was hiding behind his Mac Book. O_O!
Monotone delivery, dry style, no emotion
Top on the list of ineffective presentation was monotone delivery, dry style and no emotion. Therefore, I tried to vary my tone when I speak so as to avoid being monotonous. I put myself in the shoes of someone trying to “sell” the recommendations to NUSEU and members of the law faculty so as to make myself sound as convincing as possible. I think Deenise was really very successful in this aspect. She was able to connect with the audiences and led them into believing the data that we had collected.
How to be a great presenter then?
Confident, stylish dress and manner
I believe confidence is really very important in a presentation. Just like in any scenario, if you don’t believe in yourself who will? Before I went for the presentation, I painted a positive mental image of the presentation and this was really effective as a confidence booster. It made me less nervous and more comfortable to speak in front of my audiences.
Energy level
Great presenters are those who exude energy and enthusiasm. In many great speakers, they often give off quiet but magnetic quality that comes from true enthusiasm. To be passionate about the topic and doing thorough research for the presentation would definitely help! (: I think Geraldine had done a fantastic job in terms of the energy that she exuded during the presentation. Probably because her voice sounded loud and confident, it was very attractive and made me want to listen to her. Thumbs up! (:
I would definitely put all the skills that I’ve learnt through this presentation and the rest of the course into practice in any future occasions. This presentation had really been an eye opener for me.
Before I start reflecting on my presentation, I'll like to take this opportunity to thank all my group members for their efforts and the hard work they have put in for both the proposal and presentation. ((: It was a great experience to work with all of you; Deenise is the conscientious one who always searches for interesting things we can add to our project. Tiffany is the IT savvy who came up with our awesome slides and Kellyn is the brave soul who has to memorise chunks and chunks of information just for the introduction of our presentation. Thank you girls for making my project in ES2007S a superbly fun one! (:
Often we hear the words, “He/ she is a good speaker. He /she did a good job. I truly enjoyed it.” When we fill out the evaluation form, we sometimes give the top score, but how many times can we really rate the presenter as “excellent” or truly “exceeded my expectations?” How do we make a good presentation a great one?
With that, I shall share with everyone some of the points that I had done in an attempt to make our presentation a better one.
How I prepared for my presentation
Instead of writing chunks of words and tons of paragraphs for my presentation, I wrote them out in point forms. I remembered the sequence of my slides and this helped a lot during the presentation because I wasn’t regurgitating rather I was just connecting the points that I have and it was much easier. Therefore I felt that I was more comfortable with this presentation as compared to my peer teaching session. Slotting the research findings together with the recommendations also helped me to connect my ideas together and make it easier for me to put my points across.
Presentation Aspect
I read from somewhere that there are several factors that determine the effectiveness of the presentation. Therefore, I tried to incorporate some of those factors to make my presentation more effective and omit those that would hinder me from delivering a clear and concise message. I’ll share some of the factors here with everyone.
What makes presentation ineffective?
Overcrowding of audio-visual aids
Third on the list of hindering effective presentation is the poor usage of audio and visual aids. After reviewing through several websites and looking at the video clips of several successful presenters, our group decided to revamp our slides and kept the information on the slides to the minimal. Although it was very challenging for us as presenters and for our classmates as audiences, I found that there are several benefits of omitting bullet points. During the presentation, I felt that some of the information that I initially included in my speech were too long and lengthy for my audiences so I omitted them. Without listing the points on my slides allowed me to change my speech according to the non verbal feedbacks I get from my audiences. Also, it was much easier to look at the audiences when I didn’t use the speech cards. Previously during the peer teaching session, I used speech cards for as a form of security. However, with the cards around I felt that I was compelled to look at them in case I missed anything out.
No effort to relate material to audience interests, background
This was rank second in the list of making presentation ineffective. Since I was supposed to be speaking to the NUSEU as well as academic staffs from the NUS Law Faculty, I tried to connect with them by doing a background research of NUS Law School. I also tried to make them understand what they could do to help improve the current communication curriculum of the NUS Law School instead of just telling iterating our recommendations.
One thing that I should improve on would probably be to maintain more eye contact with my audiences rather. But it was really more comfortable to look at Brad when he was hiding behind his Mac Book. O_O!
Monotone delivery, dry style, no emotion
Top on the list of ineffective presentation was monotone delivery, dry style and no emotion. Therefore, I tried to vary my tone when I speak so as to avoid being monotonous. I put myself in the shoes of someone trying to “sell” the recommendations to NUSEU and members of the law faculty so as to make myself sound as convincing as possible. I think Deenise was really very successful in this aspect. She was able to connect with the audiences and led them into believing the data that we had collected.
How to be a great presenter then?
Confident, stylish dress and manner
I believe confidence is really very important in a presentation. Just like in any scenario, if you don’t believe in yourself who will? Before I went for the presentation, I painted a positive mental image of the presentation and this was really effective as a confidence booster. It made me less nervous and more comfortable to speak in front of my audiences.
Energy level
Great presenters are those who exude energy and enthusiasm. In many great speakers, they often give off quiet but magnetic quality that comes from true enthusiasm. To be passionate about the topic and doing thorough research for the presentation would definitely help! (: I think Geraldine had done a fantastic job in terms of the energy that she exuded during the presentation. Probably because her voice sounded loud and confident, it was very attractive and made me want to listen to her. Thumbs up! (:
I would definitely put all the skills that I’ve learnt through this presentation and the rest of the course into practice in any future occasions. This presentation had really been an eye opener for me.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Methodology, Interview with Professor & Limitations
Methodology
To carry out this project, we carried out two surveys targeting Law undergraduates and graduated Law students, as well as two interviews with a NUS Law Professor and an employer respectively. Both surveys were created using surveymonkey.com. Results from both surveys would be presented during our oral presentation.
Interview with NUS Professor
The rationale behind the interview with employers was to understand the level of importance of the various communication skills in the work field. We forwarded a list of questions to various law firms and request that they answer the interview questions so as to help us understand the communication skills of lawyers from a different perspective. The second phase was to conduct an interview with a NUS professor that teaches communication skills in the law school. Through this, we would be able to find out how the teaching unit in the law faculty prepare NUS law students for their future careers. Similarly, we sent out a list of questions to various professors that are currently teaching in the NUS law school. However, only some of the professors replied and all of the professors that replied did not come from the legal writing department. Hence, they were unable to give us more information of how the communication skills in the law curriculum were taught. We had to rely on secondary sources such as module information to help us gain insight of the module’s curriculum.
Limitations
The pitfalls which were encountered whilst carrying out the survey were the insufficient contacts for us to carry out an extensive survey. Thus, the results of the survey can only be shown true for a certain population of law students. Our potential respondents emails were taken off the NUS Law student exchange website as well as contacts given to us from friends who are currently studying in the law faculty. Hence our sampling was not randomised. Secondly, we had to ensure that the questions were structured in such a way that it would not seem loaded or leading, if not the results would be biased
Small scale survey results, does not represent the whole NUS population in the law faculty. However, this proposal was meant to propose for further in-depth research thus our surveys targeted only small groups of respondents.
To carry out this project, we carried out two surveys targeting Law undergraduates and graduated Law students, as well as two interviews with a NUS Law Professor and an employer respectively. Both surveys were created using surveymonkey.com. Results from both surveys would be presented during our oral presentation.
Interview with NUS Professor
The rationale behind the interview with employers was to understand the level of importance of the various communication skills in the work field. We forwarded a list of questions to various law firms and request that they answer the interview questions so as to help us understand the communication skills of lawyers from a different perspective. The second phase was to conduct an interview with a NUS professor that teaches communication skills in the law school. Through this, we would be able to find out how the teaching unit in the law faculty prepare NUS law students for their future careers. Similarly, we sent out a list of questions to various professors that are currently teaching in the NUS law school. However, only some of the professors replied and all of the professors that replied did not come from the legal writing department. Hence, they were unable to give us more information of how the communication skills in the law curriculum were taught. We had to rely on secondary sources such as module information to help us gain insight of the module’s curriculum.
Limitations
The pitfalls which were encountered whilst carrying out the survey were the insufficient contacts for us to carry out an extensive survey. Thus, the results of the survey can only be shown true for a certain population of law students. Our potential respondents emails were taken off the NUS Law student exchange website as well as contacts given to us from friends who are currently studying in the law faculty. Hence our sampling was not randomised. Secondly, we had to ensure that the questions were structured in such a way that it would not seem loaded or leading, if not the results would be biased
Small scale survey results, does not represent the whole NUS population in the law faculty. However, this proposal was meant to propose for further in-depth research thus our surveys targeted only small groups of respondents.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Communication on the road
It has been very long since the last post which is on intercultural conflicts.
Today's post will be about communication on the road. This was something that occured to me when I was driving home from school yesterday. Everytime when we think about communication, it is always in the context of work,friends, family . However, no one seemed to link communication to driving.
For example, the driver uses his signals to tell you that he wants to do a lane change and when you hear the horn, it tells you that you may be a hazard to someone else. Drivers also use their horns to express their unhappiness. Whenever they are stuck in a jam, or when they find the vehicles in front of them going to slowly, they use the horn as a way to express their thought to those in front.
Isn't it amazing that we are able to communicate with each other on the road without speaking to each other? In fact, many things are happening around us all the times. It is just that we are oblivious or to accustomed to them that we take it for granted. (:
Today's post will be about communication on the road. This was something that occured to me when I was driving home from school yesterday. Everytime when we think about communication, it is always in the context of work,friends, family . However, no one seemed to link communication to driving.
For example, the driver uses his signals to tell you that he wants to do a lane change and when you hear the horn, it tells you that you may be a hazard to someone else. Drivers also use their horns to express their unhappiness. Whenever they are stuck in a jam, or when they find the vehicles in front of them going to slowly, they use the horn as a way to express their thought to those in front.
Isn't it amazing that we are able to communicate with each other on the road without speaking to each other? In fact, many things are happening around us all the times. It is just that we are oblivious or to accustomed to them that we take it for granted. (:
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Evaluate Intercultural Behaviour
Greeting is a way for human to communicate awareness of each other’s presence and show attention to each other. In a small world like ours, travelling around it is no longer a feat as technology progresses yet there are still 1001 ways to greet each other.
The British prefer to say “hello” when they meet with their friends.
French people usually kiss on both cheeks when they meet and leave to show respect and affection between two people in general.
However, cheek kissing is highly uncommon in Asian countries. In Japan, the Japanese would bow when they greet someone. Even within the family, most Japanese would not hug each other because they do not have the habit of expressing their feelings directly.
The Inuit, who live in Canada, rub noses whereas in Tibet they would stick their tongue out at someone to show that they have no evil thoughts.
Let us look at an example closer to home. Muslims greet each other with the salam (an Islamic form of greeting) When the Malays offer the salam, they will touch each other's right hand. The touch is just a light clasp not amounting to a handshake which is then immediately followed by the placing the hand on the heart to signify the greeting is heartfelt.
Just last year, the president of America, Mr Barack Obama was criticised as treasonous for bowing to the Japanese Emperor. Critics claim that Mr Obama is showing deference to the Japanese emperor as the state department protocol decrees that the president bows to no one. However, others feel that the US president is just bowing out of courtesy and respect for the Japanese culture.
Our planet consists of many different countries where different races of people with different customs and manners live in. Each of these countries has their own way of greeting people. The biggest difference is not the content of the greeting but the behaviour and the way they express their greetings. However, regardless of the differences in the way greeting is being expressed, the ultimate aim of showing awareness of presence of each other could be felt.
The British prefer to say “hello” when they meet with their friends.
French people usually kiss on both cheeks when they meet and leave to show respect and affection between two people in general.
However, cheek kissing is highly uncommon in Asian countries. In Japan, the Japanese would bow when they greet someone. Even within the family, most Japanese would not hug each other because they do not have the habit of expressing their feelings directly.
The Inuit, who live in Canada, rub noses whereas in Tibet they would stick their tongue out at someone to show that they have no evil thoughts.
Let us look at an example closer to home. Muslims greet each other with the salam (an Islamic form of greeting) When the Malays offer the salam, they will touch each other's right hand. The touch is just a light clasp not amounting to a handshake which is then immediately followed by the placing the hand on the heart to signify the greeting is heartfelt.
Just last year, the president of America, Mr Barack Obama was criticised as treasonous for bowing to the Japanese Emperor. Critics claim that Mr Obama is showing deference to the Japanese emperor as the state department protocol decrees that the president bows to no one. However, others feel that the US president is just bowing out of courtesy and respect for the Japanese culture.
Our planet consists of many different countries where different races of people with different customs and manners live in. Each of these countries has their own way of greeting people. The biggest difference is not the content of the greeting but the behaviour and the way they express their greetings. However, regardless of the differences in the way greeting is being expressed, the ultimate aim of showing awareness of presence of each other could be felt.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Application letter Draft 2
58 Woodlands Drive 16
1st Feb 2010
Ms. Mary Tan
Human Resource Manager
Woodlands Road
#B1-16/18/19 Times Square
Singapore 123456
Dear Ms. Tan,
Application for the post of Part Time Piano Teacher
I am writing to apply for the post of a Part Time Piano Teacher which was advertised on the school’s website.
Currently, I am pursuing a Bachelor of Science specialised in Food Science and Technology at the National University of Singapore. For the past 2 years, I had been doing diploma in teaching by the Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music. At the same time, I do private piano teaching as well. Balancing full time studying with private piano teaching had helped me to develop my skills on time management, which I consider an important criterion in teaching. I have been attending courses on a regular basis so as to keep myself updated with the latest Piano syllabus.
My previous part time job as a facilitator for seminars had allowed me to interact and understand teenagers between the age of seven to seventeen. This experience had underlined my determination to work with this age group. In addition, I was part of the planning Committee for the Science Orientation Camp in 2009. Through the Committee, I learnt to work with young adults which I believe would be useful when it comes to late beginners. I have enclosed a copy of my resume for your review.
Teaching piano and sharing the joy of music with everyone is definitely a fulfilling and worthwhile experience. I do hope that you will look favourable in my application. I look forward to hear from you.
Yours truly,
Miss Wong Shih Han
Application letter Draft 1
58 Woodlands Drive 16
1st Feb 2010
Ms. Mary Tan
Human Resource Manager
Woodlands Road
#B1-16/18/19 Times Square
Singapore 123456
Dear Ms. Tan,
Application for the post of Part Time Piano Teacher
I am writing to apply for the post of a Part Time Piano Teacher which was advertised on the school’s website.
Currently, I am pursuing for a Bachelor of Science specialised in Food Science at the National University of Singapore. I have been doing diploma in teaching by the Associate Board for Royal School of Music for the past 3 years and also teach private piano students. Balancing full time studying with private piano teaching had honed my skills on time management, which I consider an important criterion in teaching. I have been attending courses on a regular basis so as to keep myself updated with the latest Piano syllabus.
My previous part time job as a facilitator for seminars had allowed me to interact and understand teenagers with age ranging from seven to seventeen. This experience had underlined my determination to work with this age group. In addition, I was part of the planning Committee for the Science Orientation Camp in 2009. Through the Committee, I learnt to work with young adults which I believe would be useful when there are late beginners learning piano. I have enclosed a copy of my resume for your review.
Teaching piano and sharing the joy of music with everyone is definitely a fulfilling and worthwhile experience. I do hope that you will look favourable in my application. I look forward to hear from you.
Yours truly,
Miss Wong Shih Han
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Interpersonal Conflict
Conflicts are parts and parcels of life that are unavoidable. They range from small, minor disputes to major ones. All of these conflicts may affect or damage the relationship. If handled well, conflicts could help both parties deepen mutual understanding as well as gain mutual respect. However, if handled badly, conflicts might lead to hostility and can even put an end to relationships. We see conflicts at all sorts of levels- ranging from family to friends and even at work. Interpersonal conflicts are generally due to different working styles or goals.
The following is an example of a conflict that I went through. I guess this conflict arose due to the fact that we had very different working styles even though our goal was the same – to plan a fantastic orientation.
It happened when I was in the organising committee of the Orientation Camp. Back then, we decided to have a trial run to test the games that we were playing in the actual camp. One of the higher-ranking members from the main committee came down and joined us in our trial run. During the debrief session at the end of the first day, she took over the role of the chairperson of the orientation committee and started to pinpoint things that were not to her liking. For example, she felt that the committee members were not enthusiastic enough and if we were not going to participate actively in the activities then we should not have gone for the trial at all. However, the committee preferred to finish our jobs quietly but this certainly did not mean that we were not efficient in carrying out the tasks that were assigned to us. She even held a meeting with the programmes committee asking them to change the activities planned because the respective house leaders did not like the activities. I could understand her intentions but I think it would be better if she put it across as a suggestion rather than a request that we had to comply to. We were very upset over the negative feedbacks that she gave us because she denied all our efforts in the preparation for the camp.
This higher-ranking member went on to complain that we slept too early for a camp even when there was nothing left for us to do. In the end, we merely sat around and talked until it was 3 in the morning before going to bed. The irony here was that she woke up late the next morning and we had to push back our timeline.
What would you do if you were in our shoes?
P.S. I think that the book In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner is very interesting. The story is about 2 sisters who shared very little in common except for the size of their shoes. Both of them were secretly envious of each other yet none of them voiced it out, which caused them to drift apart. It was not until very long later that they started to work on the issues they had with each other. If they had done that earlier, probably they would not have left so many years of their sisterhood blank. Many problems could be resolved if we are able to empathise with the other party. However, how many of us are able to do that?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Effective Communication
Before I move on and blog about the topic on conflicts I can't help but wonder whether effective communication is just about making sure that the other party understands what you are saying. I had this encounter the other day over dinner which led me to this question. The conversation between my mum and the waitress goes like that:
Mum: Hi, is it possible if you do this dish without adding spring onion and garlic
Waitress: No (Curtly)
Mum: But I've ate this elsewhere and it can be done
Waitress: Oh. Too bad. We're not that place.
Apparently, the waitress did get her point across and we totally understand what she said but is this really effective communication?
Mum: Hi, is it possible if you do this dish without adding spring onion and garlic
Waitress: No (Curtly)
Mum: But I've ate this elsewhere and it can be done
Waitress: Oh. Too bad. We're not that place.
Apparently, the waitress did get her point across and we totally understand what she said but is this really effective communication?
Friday, January 22, 2010
Why is effective communcation important to me?
George Bernard Shaw, an Irish literary Critic, once said that the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. This is one statement that I couldn't agree more. Many a time, we just assume that the party knows exactly what we are thinking or saying and decided that no further communication is required. This leads to miscommunication and misunderstandings. Assumption is a bad habit that many of us are guilty of and I am no exception, yet I feel that this is one main factor that affects effective communication
Effective communication is important to me as I am no mind reader nor do I have a crystal ball that helps me to identify the thoughts and feelings of people around me. By taking time out to find out what people around me really want, think or feel helps to strengthen the relationship between us. For example, I used to quarrel with my sister. This is because both of us assume that we know each others’ limits and boundaries so we left many things unspoken. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Both of us are just very different and only after communicating with each other our differences became lesser and we became closer.
By being able to communicate effectively, it helps me to increase my confidence level and self-esteem. When I was younger, I like to stay within my comfort zone and not bring attention to myself by not voicing out my opinions. However, as I grow older and communicate with more people, I began to realise that dealing with people and exchanging ideas were not as difficult as I thought. With practice, I became less afraid to talk to people and more sure of myself when I try to put my idea across. By being able to convey my message to those around me enabled me to be more confident about interaction with others. I am sure no man is an island. All our dreams and goals can only be fulfilled with the help of others. Hence, I think that it is important be able to put across what we need clearly and specifically to allow people to understand and assist us.
I believe that communication is not just about the things that we say but also the non verbal aspects such as the way one dresses and their actions. To communicate effectively it means that we should also use non verbal aspects to build rapport with others. The way we dress, the way we stand and the way we sit tells people something about us and people usually start by listening to what they see not what they hear. Generally, people like people who are the same as them. I would definitely feel more connected to those that dress more like me that with a businesswoman dressed in shirt and pants. Rapport is important to me as it helps to build camaraderie. There is an old saying “A first impressions is a lasting impression”. I believe there is some truth in this statement. If we cannot communicate effectively with the way we dress and the way we behave, it would be difficult for us to sell ourselves and others would not take time to try to find out who we really are.
This is how much effective communication mean to me. It helps to enhance my relationships, minimise the chances of misunderstandings, improve on my self confidence and allows me to build rapports with others.
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