Sunday, February 7, 2010

Application letter Draft 2

58 Woodlands Drive 16

1st Feb 2010

Ms. Mary Tan
Human Resource Manager
Woodlands Road
#B1-16/18/19 Times Square
Singapore 123456

Dear Ms. Tan,

Application for the post of Part Time Piano Teacher

I am writing to apply for the post of a Part Time Piano Teacher which was advertised on the school’s website.

Currently, I am pursuing a Bachelor of Science specialised in Food Science and Technology at the National University of Singapore. For the past 2 years, I had been doing diploma in teaching by the Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music. At the same time, I do private piano teaching as well. Balancing full time studying with private piano teaching had helped me to develop my skills on time management, which I consider an important criterion in teaching. I have been attending courses on a regular basis so as to keep myself updated with the latest Piano syllabus.

My previous part time job as a facilitator for seminars had allowed me to interact and understand teenagers between the age of seven to seventeen. This experience had underlined my determination to work with this age group. In addition, I was part of the planning Committee for the Science Orientation Camp in 2009. Through the Committee, I learnt to work with young adults which I believe would be useful when it comes to late beginners. I have enclosed a copy of my resume for your review.

Teaching piano and sharing the joy of music with everyone is definitely a fulfilling and worthwhile experience. I do hope that you will look favourable in my application. I look forward to hear from you.

Yours truly,

Miss Wong Shih Han

4 comments:

  1. I think it is good but try to make everything more concise and it will be ready for submission.

    Also, you might want to write more about your passion and interest in music to highlight your interest in the job. I think your passion for piano from such a young age is something worth showing to the person receiving your letter.

    Alright good luck in the writing!

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  2. Hi Shih Han!

    Just one comment about the content: perhaps you could include an additional point about teaching piano theory. I'm sure that would be an additional edge in your resume since there are not many theory teachers around.

    Also I felt that this line was not written properly. "For the past 2 years, I had been doing diploma in teaching by the Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music." I felt that the phrasing is a bit wrong. It should be "I have been pursuing the Diploma in Teaching by the Associate Board of the Royal Schools of Music for the past two years."

    I may be wrong though, do correct me if that's the case! =)

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  3. Hi Shih Han,

    I notice that there is some frequency in using past perfect tenses in your cover letter. I am not sure whether it's acceptable, but to my own knowledge, it's better to just use simple past tenses.

    Soon Yee is right. For something so artistic like music, you should portray your passion towards your art.

    And perhaps you should put your piano teaching qualifications in a different paragraph from your transferable skills, for instance your time management skills.

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  4. Oh and 1 more comment (sorry! I was at the verge of sleeping!): "I do hope that you will look favourable in my application." --> "I do hope that you will look favouraBLY inTO my application."

    ReplyDelete