George Bernard Shaw, an Irish literary Critic, once said that the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. This is one statement that I couldn't agree more. Many a time, we just assume that the party knows exactly what we are thinking or saying and decided that no further communication is required. This leads to miscommunication and misunderstandings. Assumption is a bad habit that many of us are guilty of and I am no exception, yet I feel that this is one main factor that affects effective communication
Effective communication is important to me as I am no mind reader nor do I have a crystal ball that helps me to identify the thoughts and feelings of people around me. By taking time out to find out what people around me really want, think or feel helps to strengthen the relationship between us. For example, I used to quarrel with my sister. This is because both of us assume that we know each others’ limits and boundaries so we left many things unspoken. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Both of us are just very different and only after communicating with each other our differences became lesser and we became closer.
By being able to communicate effectively, it helps me to increase my confidence level and self-esteem. When I was younger, I like to stay within my comfort zone and not bring attention to myself by not voicing out my opinions. However, as I grow older and communicate with more people, I began to realise that dealing with people and exchanging ideas were not as difficult as I thought. With practice, I became less afraid to talk to people and more sure of myself when I try to put my idea across. By being able to convey my message to those around me enabled me to be more confident about interaction with others. I am sure no man is an island. All our dreams and goals can only be fulfilled with the help of others. Hence, I think that it is important be able to put across what we need clearly and specifically to allow people to understand and assist us.
I believe that communication is not just about the things that we say but also the non verbal aspects such as the way one dresses and their actions. To communicate effectively it means that we should also use non verbal aspects to build rapport with others. The way we dress, the way we stand and the way we sit tells people something about us and people usually start by listening to what they see not what they hear. Generally, people like people who are the same as them. I would definitely feel more connected to those that dress more like me that with a businesswoman dressed in shirt and pants. Rapport is important to me as it helps to build camaraderie. There is an old saying “A first impressions is a lasting impression”. I believe there is some truth in this statement. If we cannot communicate effectively with the way we dress and the way we behave, it would be difficult for us to sell ourselves and others would not take time to try to find out who we really are.
This is how much effective communication mean to me. It helps to enhance my relationships, minimise the chances of misunderstandings, improve on my self confidence and allows me to build rapports with others.
Hi Shihhan!
ReplyDeleteI know EXACTLY what you mean when you said you quarrel with your sister because you automatically assume they already know your boundaries and so lots of things that should've been said, don't get said. I'm the youngest in my family, and I always squabbled with my older brother over the silliest things simply because the communication between us was at its minimal. He didn't talk to me much and when he did it always lead to fights simply because we didn't understand each other and each other's rationale.
Things between us have gotten better now, and it's only because we talked to each other more. If there were conflicts, we talked about it. He would say everything he had to say, and I would tell him that I understood his point of view but also tell him about how it looked like from my end. It wasn't easy at first because we both had egos the size of Nebraska and we both wanted to prove each other wrong! But as we got older we eventually worked it out. Effective communication indeed brought peace back to the household, and spared our parents that much distress!
Hello Shih Han!
ReplyDeleteYes, I believe assumption is a very bad habit most of us have. I had this huge conflict with this friend of mine in year 2007. We were both working on a project. I assumed that she understands my expectations on her (that she would complete her part) and she assumed that I would understand that she cannot commit as much as she'd like to, given her other commitments. Well, things did not really work out well, in the end.
Oh yes, good communication skills would definitely boost one's self-esteem. I believe this would help a lot in giving other people (especially our future employers!) a good first impression, too.
Shih Han: Quarreling could actual be one of the best ways of communication. Often, when people quarrel, they pour everything that they are unhappy about regarding the other party and this goes both ways. Initially, when everyone is still fuming mad, nothing seems to be getting solved but at least the reasons for unhappiness are being pointed out. This is much better than the kind of silent hatred that could exist alternatively. In the latter, nothing is said, nothing is known and nothing is solved. Of course, quarrels can go wrong too; some just never reconcile after a fight. However, those who do learn a great deal from the argument.
ReplyDeleteAnd I was wondering, is dress code really a kind of non-verbal communication since it is hugely influenced by today's fashion?
In my opinion, dress code can sometimes definetely be considered a kind of non-verbal communication. Not everybody's dresscode is dictated by today's fashion trends. A lot of people still REJECT current fashion advice. Infact, seeing somebody dressed outrageously differently from what is considered the norm can speak volumes about that person and highlight his/her individuality and the fact that he/she isn't afraid to be different. Or someone dressed conservatively would be reflective of their conservative personality, although I admit this isn't always true.
ReplyDeleteAnd have you noticed that kid celebrities always seem to change their fashion sense as they grow up? Take Mile Cyrus and even Britney Spears for example. You can see that as they grow up they start showing a little more skin, they dress a little more scantily in order to appeal to more adult audiences.
Dressingthe way you do is a form of silent self-expression, of telling the world who you are - a form of symbolic interaction. And for as long as people will continue to be judged on what they wear, I believe one's clothing will be considered a form of nonverbal communication.
Hello Val!
ReplyDeleteI guess we could take it as a lesson learnt! We should always tell the other party whom we are working with what we feel and not just assume that they know it! (: This would definitely save a lot of misunderstandings in the future!
Yep! I do agree that a large amount of what we wear now is dictated by the media but then again isn't this a way of telling others that I don't want to be different from them and stand out from the rest of the crowd? (:
ReplyDeleteTo me dress code does give me some information about the person. For example, if I go for an office jobe interview dressed in tee shirt, shorts and slippers my potential employer would feel that I might not be professional enough for the job compared to someone dressed in a suit. Like what I've mentioned before I believe that first impression do count! ((:
Dear Shihhan,
ReplyDeleteI really like this essay. And yes indeed I mean essay. You've organized your ideas beautifully, even in what a rhetorician might call a traditional Chinese rhetorical style, with your main thesis stated at the end, with all the supporting primary examples presented and detailed with fine secondary supports in the initial paragraphs.
You also clearly reference the original assignment, explaining just exactly why effective comm skills are important to you. You also illustrate your reasoning with personal experiences, all of which you describe well. Not only do we learn about your needs, we learn something about your family as well. (And then there's that interesting quote from G. B. Shaw.)
Of course, I want to see you develop your writing further, in a way that you ca be especially proud of. A review of your sentence structure might help you have a better understanding of some of the nuts and bolts of that. That's why I've detailed your problems. Please see below:
1) By taking time out to find out what people around me really want, think or feel helps to strengthen the relationship between us. >>> Taking the time to find out what people around me really want, think or feel helps to strengthen the relationship between us.
2) For example, I used to quarrel with my sister. This is because both of us assume that we know each others’ limits and boundaries so we left many things unspoken. >>> inconsistent verb tense use
3) By being able to communicate effectively, it helps me to increase my confidence level and self-esteem. >>> what's the subject here and the main verb?
4) When I was younger, I like to stay within my comfort zone and not bring attention to my.... >>> verb tense inconsistency
5) as I grow older and communicate with more people, I began ... >>> same problem
6) By being able to convey my message to those around me enabled me ... >>> Being able to convey my message to those around me enabled me...
7) To communicate effectively it means ... >>> subject/main verb?
Don't mistake my nitpicking for anything other than that. And thank you for sharing your ideas and experiences with us!